How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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