Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
