new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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