So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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