it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
