5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
