Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
