I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
