everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
