My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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