____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
