I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize