is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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