Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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