i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
farters have to be the big spoon...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
