She's JV to your varsity
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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