Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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