I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
