You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
