i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
