Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
