I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
