and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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