he wants to bone in the snuggie
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
