that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
