I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize