Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
