Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
