walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
