i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize