i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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