I wish i was in the wii world.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
