fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
