omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just gift wrapped bread.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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