I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's like iHOP with fire
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
