I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
