SEEEEXXX PLEASE
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
