Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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