I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
