she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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