erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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