scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
