I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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