I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
