you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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