dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
