We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
