I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Randomize