tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i think i scared a bird with my dick
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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