she smelled like a LAN party
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
