There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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