:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
