just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
