I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
