My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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