I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize