we have officially lost it.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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