I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
